The Day The Whole World Went Away
by xLL-Ax
Summary: 'After Tony's death, Loki will take the arc reactor form his chest and keep it with him 'till the day it finally stops working. He won't cry when he sees its light has died. Instead, he will pick it up and carry it into battle as he begins Ragnarök; Never letting the dead reactor go until the moment he is slain in battle.'


Based on a FrostIron Headcannon which can be found here.

'After Tony's death, Loki will take the arc reactor form his chest and keep it with him 'till the day it finally stops working. He won't cry when he sees its light has died. Instead he will pick it up and carry it into battle as he begins Ragnarök. Never letting the dead reactor go until the moment he is slain in battle.'

* * *

_I'd listen to the words he'd say  
But in his voice I heard decay  
The plastic face forced to portray  
All the insides left cold and gray_

_There is a place that still remains  
It eats the fear it eats the pain  
The sweetest price he'll have to pay  
The day the whole world went away_

'Immortality was never meant for me, darling. I'm human, I'm mortal, Loki, and I don't want to keep on living when – almost – everything around me corrupts and dies. The beauty of life lays in its fragility, my love. Besides, I really want to see if all that 'Heaven and Hell' thing we have around here is real or not.'

Those were the words Tony told Loki when he offered him the Golden Apple. Loki had begged him to reconsider, because for Loki a world without Tony was not worth living in, not anymore, but Tony didn't budge. Loki had cried the whole night, not believing in what the Midgardians call 'heaven.' Now he knew that one day, his lover would leave him. Forever.

His happiness.

His sanity.

His everything.

He had known, in the back of his mind, that goodbye would be unavoidable. (_unless he took the apple, why didn't he take the apple)_ But he had hoped. And now the only thing he could do was enjoy the time he had left with Tony. His Tony.

(_please, please, eat the damn apple)_

When he was with Tony Loki was happy. Tony kept the abyss away. The madness, the darkness: When he was with Tony he forgot it all. He had not known peace like this since he was a child, thousands of years ago. He had not known love like this since… never, actually. Sometimes it felt like his heart was bursting out of his chest, and it all became too much, but then Tony was there and held him and Loki knew everything would be okay.

They bickered and laughed and lied and made love and they were one.

And every day Tony's hair got a little bit grayer, his movements a little slower, but his mind stayed as bright as ever and his wit as sharp as ice.

(_Take it, eat it, why don't you-_)

He kept fighting, of course, never putting the suit away. Iron Man was part of him. He was Iron Man and Iron Man was him. Loki didn't even try to talk Tony out of it: he knew that Iron Man and Tony Stark were the same. Only a fool would try to talk Tony out of being Iron Man. It was like Loki's magic to him, and to lose it was to lose a limb.

(They had tried, of course, Steve and Pepper and Rhodey. But he never listened, never. When they were alone he confessed that their trying to stop him from being Iron Man hurt him, hurt him so bad. And Loki just held him and assured him he was doing the right thing.)

(_Take the fucking apple!)_

When the day had come, with gray clouds and rain and the sounds of battle, more than 25 years after they shared their first kiss, Loki closed his lover's eyes and kissed his lips one last time.

Tony's last words were: 'Keep on living, my love. Be happy. And please… don't forget me.'

Loki felt a tear dripping down his cheek. He knew that for him there was no happiness without Tony. But he would try, and never forget.

He gently curled his hand around the arc reactor and removed it. It still worked, the blue light stong and bright. He vowed to never let it go. Until the end.

From that day on, Loki always wore the arc reactor around his neck, the core resting right above his heart. Because it was the only thing left of his heart.

And he lived on.

He had become a semi-permanent Avenger; He still lied and occasionally caused some chaos or mischief but he helped with the battles they could not fight on their own. Every time he slept his hands and heart were curled around the arc reactor, the blue light the only thing keeping him sane.

He dreamed of brown eyes and a soft laugh, of loving words and tender kisses, of broken promises and a terrible longing.

Of course, fate was playing with him the day it happened. No solitary, no private breakdown, no sir, that was not meant for him.

(_If he had only taken the apple…)_

Over the years the bond between Asgard and Midgard had only grown stronger. Thor and Jane, Jane having accepted the apples, had become King and Queen of Asgard. The Allfather and his wife still consulted them, but Thor was doing better than Loki would have ever expected. His life as an Avenger had humbled him.

Loki was attending a feast celebrating 50 years of peace and friendship between Asgard and Midgard. All the current Avengers and the most important SHIELD agents were attending, plus the royal family of Asgard (plus some important council members he didn't care about) and the Warriors Three and Sif.

The Avengers had changed over the years, of course. Only Thor, – who only helped when really needed, seeing he was also King now – Steve and Bruce were still alive. Natasha had died trying to save a family of civilians, her age slowing her reflexes. After her death, Clint began taking more and more risks and in the end, gave up his life for North-Manhattan.

The new SHIELD leader and the Allfather where discussing some political matter. Jane and one of the new female Avengers were gossiping and Volstagg was eating as much as ever. Loki listened with half an ear at all the conversation and stared at his food.

The reactor's light had begun to weaken in the last few weeks.

He had always found the energy of the reactor calming, and his mind was always subconsciously wrapped around it.

(_Reminding him of Tony, __**his **__Tony, who didn't take-)_

He felt it the moment it happened. He felt cold and more alone than ever.

Sif had just made a jest at him and he had opened his mouth to reply when he froze.

The others, who were following their banter, looked at him expecting the comeback he would never give.

Loki's hand slowly crept up and touched Tony's reactor. He closed his eyes.

The light had died.

Thor, of course it was Thor, it always had to be Thor, was the first to notice.

'Brother-'

Loki silenced him with a snarl and stood up. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again.

Few could see the madness in his eyes, his mind, that had just been unleashed.

'It has begun.' He half-whispered in Thor's direction.

'Consider this my last act of humanity. This warning.' And the fact that he hadn't killed them all in those few precious moments of confusion. It had been a long time since he had used his power to the full extent. People often forgot that though he may be on the side of the angels, he wasn't one of them. They underestimated him.

'Loki.' The Allfathers voice was heavy.

'Ragnarök has come.' Loki whispered. His declaration was met with surprised gasps from all the Æsir.

'What?! Why?' Fandral cried out, obviously not liking the murderous vibe Loki was giving off. And he of course knew what Ragnarök was. It was one of the reasons that despite everything, Asgard did still not wholly trust Loki. They never would, not when the myths and legends were declaring him pure evil. Not when his roots came from Jötunheimr and his children were deemed monstrous by birth.

Loki removed his hand so that they could all see the once bright blue arc reactor turned gray.

'Because my reason to live has just… left me.'

There was only one thing left for him to do.

With those last words he gathered his power and teleported. He freed his children. He opened the stone doors to Svartálfaheimr, the groans of the dwarves being heard behind them. He freed Surtr and let the fire jötnar of Muspelheim loose. He opened the gates to Asgard for everyone and everything and heard Heimdall blow the Gjallarhorn, alarming Asgard.

Not long after that the doors to Valhalla open.

The only thing he remembers after that is war. Destruction. Blood, screaming, fighting, dying.

The Allfathers head being bitten of by Fernir. Víðarr tearing Fernir apart, taking revenge. Blood on his clothes, after slaying Sif had been more troubling than he had originally thought. Thor and Jörmungandr fighting a long battle, Loki watching paralyzed from the sidelines. Thor slaying his son, but collapsing from poisoning soon after. Loki not being sure if he should be happy or not, if it was wrong that he was not feeling anything at all.

(_he kept remembering that day, Tony's face. Loki had always saved an apple for him in case he changed his mind, although in his heart he knew that would never happen)_

Freyr and Surtr battling, blood all over them both. The Hulk collapsing after being hit too many times. The invincible super-soldier not being so invincible after all, his once blue suit now bright red. SHIELD and its agents being slaughtered like sheep. The golden city turning blood red, crumbling down on itself. Asgard had fallen.

He watched it all with empty eyes, his heart and soul long gone. The only thing left for him to do is fulfill his fate.

And in his left hand he holds his arc reactor. Never letting go.

Loki received blow after blow, killing creature after creature not caring whether he is supposed to be at their side or not. He is sure that in Ragnarök there are no sides. Only death and destruction.

He faces Heimdall. Their battle is long and heavy. He fires the last blow he knows will be fatal while Heimdall pushes his staff through what's left of his heart. He sees and answers the sad gaze Heimdall wears before collapsing.

The last thing he sees is his reactor, Tony's reactor, still clutched in his hand.

_Until the end._

He thinks he hears the faint echo of familiar laughter, thinks he sees the brightest flash of red and gold, this he feels the softest hand caressing his cheek.

He thinks he hears the only voice he ever wants to hear.

'I missed you, my love. Welcome home.'

But he is not sure.

Maybe there is some kind of 'heaven' for him, after all.

* * *

A/N: I read the headcannon on tumblr and I just had to make this. Read it over and over and kept changing it but in the end just decided to post it. Played with some facts: Jane didn't have to take the courage test, and I'm sure the original order of the battles of Ragnarök is different, but hey, this fitted. :P I don't own anything in here, not even the whole plot, haha. I'm sure there's also a Sherlock quote somewhere in there, only a little twisted (A)

The original Norse Mythology says that "In Valhalla, the dead join the masses of those who have died in combat known as Einherjar, as well as various legendary Germanic heroes and kings, as they prepare to aid Odin during the events of Ragnarök." So applied that concept.

I did try to keep to the Norse Mythology as much as possible: although I do think that there is, because Ragnarök is not only an end but also a beginning, there is no afterlife for the Gods after Ragnarök but I wanted some kind of sweet end.

My Tumblr is LL-A, for those interested. The song at the beginning is; 'The Day The World Went Away' from Nine Inch Nails. I hope you enjoyed this.

Thank you for reading!


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